"Sometimes we develop a bit more of a confidence for ourselves too when we get older. Expect the bestĭespite challenges, Wilton says the sex you have when you're older can be the best of your life.
"Things like diabetes, heart disease, Parkinson's, the whole host of issues that we tend to see more commonly as people get older, often have either a sexual side effect based on the illness itself, or many of the medications may have some kind of side effect," she says. When it comes to sex, Wilton recommends asking questions and advocating for yourself at the doctor's office. Watch for side effects of your medications Drug store chains generally carry lubricant, and many stock a few toys as well.ĥ. "It is actually a really great experience to go into a sex shop, but it's pretty cool that we can go online and look for things that, you know, maybe if we don't feel comfortable or even live in a small town that doesn't have great access to that kind of stuff," she notes. She also encourages her clients to experiment with different toys. "Something like lube is great for women as they get older." Make sure you have the supplies you need, says Wilton. Sometimes great sex comes down to planning ahead. "There's tons that exist on the market, benches and wedges and different kinds of things, but you can also just use the things that you have in your own home." Even simply changing position can help.Ī tip: assistive equipment like foam wedges marketed for sexual activity can often be found for much cheaper at medical supply retailers or on Amazon marketed as "back support." 3. Props can help you get in a pain-free position. "Mobility is a huge issue," when it comes to having comfortable sex, Wilton says, but today's seniors have options. And for people with medical conditions whose symptoms worsen at night, so she suggests moving sexual activity to the morning or afternoon. Women especially may require more time and more touch beforehand to overcome a feeling of "my mind is there but my body's not quite there yet," Wilton says. As we age, our sexual response cycle – the time it takes to become aroused before and between sexual activity – becomes slower. One big piece of advice she offers is planning for more time for sex. With some adjustments, she says, there's no reason to leave sexual satisfaction in the past. "If something was really good right now, why would you want it to stop?" "I'm always amazed at how people are surprised about talking about sex and older adults, like it's always this great revelation," she says. Wilton helps clients navigate the changes in their bodies – and keep their sex lives thriving. Shots - Health News Lubrication And Lots Of Communication: Navigating A New Sexual Life After Menopause Natalie Wilton, a therapist who specializes in senior sexuality, says it's no surprise that people feel pessimistic about sex as they age. Also, "sexually optimistic" individuals who acquired physical limitations they didn't have ten years before – such as pain that made it harder to lift groceries or exercise – reported having more frequent sex than people who had lower sexual expectations and no such limitations. Participants who were optimistic about their sex lives reported having significantly more frequent and more satisfying sex than those who had lower expectations. Their findings seem to demonstrate the power of positive thinking. Researchers then checked in with the participants a decade later. Īs part of the MIDUS (Midlife in the US) study, hundreds of partnered adults ages 45 and up were asked to rate how satisfying they expected their sex lives to be 10 years in the future. To get more stories like this delivered to your in-box, click here to subscribe. This story was adapted from the April 30 edition of NPR Health, a newsletter covering the science of healthy living.
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